who's that girl?

i packed up my things in my small basement room and left.

well, not exactly. i haven't left yet--although it feels like it. all of my stuff, my life, my personality and style all shoved in black garbage bags. how appropriate.

sitting at my empty desk in my empty room eating a cup-a-soup...moving is definitely a torturous activity. i do not wish it upon anyone. i cannot wait to move and then stay there for as long as i can afford to. my new place is going to be a new beginning. a new perpective. a new life.

i might even get myself a cat.

i have been unable to shake a serious anxious energy. this energy has taken over my mind and therefore my body, and all i want is to run away from it and get my shit done. as a result of this ANXIOUS energy--i was unable to make it to work today and i left work early a few days ago. maybe it is the stench of the place; the people; the constant demand for more ketchup, another beer, another smile...blah blah blah shoot me.

today i finished a book. it was a wonderful read. i kind of felt like i was the girl. i was the antagonist. i do talk (and type) in first person and i am fragmented. always. see?

it was a fun and quick read--i easily EASILY identified myself with her and i really enjoyed her obsessions. the book is called LITTLE STALKER.
sometimes i question if i am too a 'stalker'? i guess i am...

stalker of all sorts:

boys, men (a VERY different species), celebrities, diets, clothes, movies, celebrities, boys...

ew, if anyone reading this doesn't ACTUALLY know me--i swear, i am a good, smart human being. not a flake. well, not ALWAYS flake.

promise. i am more than men, boys, crushes, the latest fashion, the coolest and fastest diet....


am i?? oh man--time to re-evaluate myself as a human.


WAIT. NO!! i am valuable. i am smart. SO WHAT if perez hilton is my homepage! SUE ME.

fuuuck, i need to leave cyberspace and collect my thoughts...maybe read a new book. it's called YOUNG WIVES' TALES.

ew. i am that girl.

peace, love, and NO JUDGEMENT.
xoxoxoxxox

ps. the guy i was referring to in my last post was a random customer. i SHOULD have made it a little clearer. apologies all around. xo.