oh yaaaa

i forgot.

i LOVE target.

and

i think i am going to make steve-o let me play in his recording booth--dreams are coming true, yo.

when i head home, things ARE gonna change.

i feel enlightened.

hollywood, baby.

i am here. hollywood, yo.

i am so sorry it has taken absolutely forever for me to get to a computer. correction. it has taken me forever to WANT to get near a computer. i have honestly been avoiding emails, facebook, and this blog because i am lazy and also, i am doubting how to put into words how i am feeling/what i am experiencing etc...

let's start at the beginning, shall we?

when i got on the plane and we were taking off, i had tears in my eyes. i have been dreaming about taking this trip for a VERY VERY long time...it was finally coming true. dreams DO come true bloggers! i have been smiling like crazy ever since i got here. i think it is the vitamin D...absolutely breathtaking. every day is sunny here in california. wonderful.

the day i got here i went to TOAST in hollywood for lunch (the HILLS girls frequent this LA hotspot often) and it was delicious. i went and helped steve-o's boss buy some costumes on hollywood boulevard. i think i stepped on mister rogers' star. incredible.

for the last two days i have been in the city of san gabriel, california helping my cousin crush with her short film. being on set has been such a wonderful, fantastic, and crazy learning experience. i spend the first day taking care of the children extras. haha--it was like day camp but better. i spent the day in the sunshine, tried to teach these crazy american kids the wonders of WINK MURDER and educate their cute little selves about the magic of movie-making.

i also ran a few starbucks runs...being a PA (production assistant) is super funny. steve-o and i rocked out to ricky martin in the convertible. again, super sunny. ooooooooh vitamin D, how i love youuuu!!

i tried some crazy american food--chili boats, frito boats, frito pie, chili pie (etc)--some seriously delicious and random food. a layer of frito corn chips and on top chili/beans. sprinkle some cheese on top and you're good to go. i've had some serious canuck jokes...so i just pull the POUTINE out and the crazy americans shut their pie holes. haha, no i kid but they are SOOO un-trusting of the DELICIOUS idea of fries with gravy and cheese curds ('what the hell is a cheese CURD?')

i went shopping today while cousin crush and her hubby went to work. i went to the most EXQUISITE outdoor mall. correction bloggers, this was not a mall--this was a RESORT!!!! there is a trolley/streetcar-esque trolley that shuttles shoppers to their shopping destinations--all in a tiny circle of the most beautifully crafted shops and restaurants. AND YES, PINKBERRY IS THE MOTHERFUCKING SHIT. everything that you 'think' it is--it's better. definately NOT what i was expecting. amazing and yes, i will be back for more. mmm.

i shopped today. it was glorious. i can honestly say that it has been FOREVER since i last shopped--i have worked like a crazy person and i have not really BOUGHT myself any clothing or stuff...just because. well, TODAY WAS AMAZING!!!
i thought that i would have a hard time shopping--BAHAHAHAHAHAHA yeah right. you CANNOT take the shopping outta the girl!!!! it was amazing and i am so excited to wear clothes tomorrow.

i am gonna go to work with steve-o tomorrow and help J (his boss) with his filming. i might take some serious cardio barre classes.

it's funny, i thought being here i would be so self conscious and feel UGLY...i mean that in the least self-deprecating way--but i feel empowered and strong. i feel productive and confident. i LOVE LOVE LOVE it here. i will be moving here in a year, guaranteed. cousin crush and steve-o will be baby making soon and we have already decided that i will be here and i WILL be nanny/auntie. amazing. i am so excited about this.

i am so excited about being here. everything is lovely. nothing here is like i imagined. it is BETTER!!!!!

peace. love. SUNSHINE.
xoxoxoxoxoxo

i think about you in the summertime.

woah. this week has gone by so fast and so much has happened.

he came back. he did. actually, i wasn't at the bar when he came back but i had heard through ash that he was gonna come back for karaoke the next day.

i went and got drunk. then i headed to the bar. he sang LET'S GET IT ON by marvin gaye. ummmm unbelievable voice. and yes, bloggers, i DID get his number and actually...he came back every night to see me...well, and to drink...and he doesn't know anyone in the city. BUT he is cute. and nice. and awesome. and he likes me. i think. hahaaaaaa. i'm delusional.

we met up for lunch and it was awesome. well, i haven't been able to eat a lot which is the most annoying thing. i think it's because i have a lot on my mind...travelling in four days! cute boy! moving into a new place when i get back!

nee-nee at work thinks it's because i'm 'lovestruck'...i think i might agree with her. and maybe because he gives me serious SERIOUS butterflies.

so...LA in four days. FOUR DAYS! isn't that craziness? i remember booking the trip...i think it is the best possible time for me to go away and regroup. i need to make sure i have my priorities in check. and also, i need to make sure i can keep cool and take it easy with sparky. haha--that's what i have been calling him. i'm a dork.

i have to keep my battle with my laundry going and start somewhat preparing for my trip. i have nothing ready. haha. except myself. i am so pumped and ready to gooo!! i am so excited slash nervous slash anxious slash HAPPY.

SO HAPPY!!! i have been smiling so much these past few weeks...it's a weird feeling. especially when i am so used to pouting and brooding. haha.
i rock.

love love love and peace.
xoxoxoxoxo

tornado.

last night was a fabulous night. today was an even better day...but i don't want to get ahead of myself, here.

last night: the storm

i was working a sunday shift. same old sunday shift. same old sunday shit. overweight middle-aged men LOVE their wrestling. sitting there drinking water and eating dessrt. i like sundays usually. very slow. very easy-paced.

i was working the back of the bar--we're talking, pretty shitty section but decent for parties--and i noticed a serious hottie sitting at the bar. SERIOUS HOTTIE ALERT!!! i found out through my bar bitches his name (very rad); his sweet job (yay for being a superstar); and that he lives in LA.

ash tells me to go over and talk to him. she thinks i should strike up conversation about LA seeing as i am going in...eleven days (woo)...he is unreal looking.

maybe i psyched myself out but for some reason i got butterflies and i couldn't think of a good way of starting conversation. anyone who knows me, KNOWS that making conversation is never my problem. well, it was with him. i made sure to make cutesy gestures close to his seat so he could notice me. i think he did...i was a little dramatic. even though i was trying to be cute (keyword: TRYING) so he could strike up conversation with me...i could not muster up the courage to say anything to him. i became the ultimate shy girl. woah, SOOOOO not my element.

i was whining to ash about how bad i wanted to talk to him...she thinks i'm a nutjob. i am, ash. i am. as i am goofing at the bar being the total DORK that i am...he gets up from his barstool. yes, i know exactly where he is in the bar at all times. he walks towards me. i need to see his eyes, his face. i could only imagine...(barf!). we made eye contact. it was SWEET. SWEET eye contact. butterflies.

ash and i are talking. my back to the washrooms. i am being a goof asking her if he's behind me...giggling and being dumb. all of a sudden,

"hollywood."

i turn.

"hey. i hear you're going to LA in a few days.

i stare.
i manage to pull myself together, keep it cool. keep it cool.

"uh, ya."

i am MEGA smiling.

"are you stalking me?" i say. "am i micked??"

trying to be smooth. funny, even.
no such luck. we start talking and i fall. he is gorgeous. i was shaking, my heart was on turbo-speed, i felt like i was in a dream.

he is gorgeous.

we start talking about where we were from and what we liked to do. we had a very short chat about LA actually. now that i think about it. we kinda, went off topic pretty quickly. let me tell you. i had NO idea how long or short this conversation was.

ash tells me i have a table. he walks away awkwardly and tells me to have fun in LA.

he is gorgeous.

i am in a trance. totally zoned out. i want to go back over and talk to him. i divert my attention to my tables--i feel like i have been neglecting them and i also wanted to hide.

our chemistry was so intense. INTENSE. i have never felt such an energy for someone like that...so strong and powerful. i was shaking for fuck's sake!

ash tells me that he is leaving. the bar bitches start telling me to 'hurry up, hollywood. he's leaving. we've billed him'

i pussied out. i did. i DID. whyyyyy? he left. and i was too much of a dork to go and say goodbye. WHYYYYYYY!?!?!

he will be back to the bar. he WILL. and i will talk to him and get his number or give him mine...or his facebook. SOMETHING! ANYTHING!

i know i sound crazy. i know.
i need to stop talking about my new boyfriend...i called my mother this morning and told her that she is going to absolutely LOVE her new son-in-law.

is it weird that i think that i have a chance with this guy? i am gonna pull some carrie bradshaw shit right about now (sorry!)

is there such a thing as love at first sight?

xoxox

sicilian kiss.

sixteen days!!!

sixteen days.

SIXTEEN DAYS!

absolutely amazing. this is fabulous!! in sixteen days, i will be on set; on the beach; rodeo drive--getting discovered...you know, the usual.

last night, i was sitting at the bar after my shift was dunzo and i spent the night trying to explain to THE ITALIAN that i understand that i am pretty but i will not go back to italy with him...i get so uncomfortable when men INSIST that i am beautiful/cute/adorable etc etc...they don't even know me. i was completely flattered obviously, but i feel as though THE ITALIAN has never suffered rejection? i mean, why would he--he's gorgeous and LOVES women. i don't know a single woman who would not fall for him in one way or another. he comes to the bar alot so i have significant dirt on him. too much dirt. i might have told him a few of my secrets and i think he kissed me...no more shots please!

have you heard of the show 'secret diary of a call girl'? it's from the UK and it is absolutely GREAT! the style of the show is very well done--gives me ideas about the script i am writing/thinking about/dreaming up...i think it could really work if i molded my script around the style. i think it could work. fuuuck, this will be so FUN FUN FUN to work on!!

my tummy hurts today so no work for me. i am going to the clinic tomorrow morning! i have to figure out what the deal is...i need to make sure i am 100% in good health for my trip to LA. SIXTEEN SIXTEEN SIXTEEN!

it was a slow night last night and i had the chance to talk to a few of my tables...i had a huge LIFE talk with this man STAN. he was in town for work and we talked about EVERYTHING under the sun--he was more excited about my adventure to LA than i am--and that's saying something! we talked about what we want to do with our lives--haha, he could be my dad. no, he was not pervy (i mean, all men are--but he wasn't outwardly pervy) and he was really smart and had a lot to say. i respect you STAN the MAN. i do!

how much better would this blog be is it was a video blog? i am thinking of expanding the blog?!?!?! haha--that might not turn out too good. i will test it out and figure it all out before i actually...post a video blog. PLUS i don't know how much i could talk about on a video blog.

WHO AM I KIDDING?

i'd find SOMETHING to talk about. i always do.

peace and sunshinnnneeeeee
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

all i hear is ya ya ya ya ya.

how can some people create such filth?

i tried this morning/afternoon to clean my apartment. all that i could manage to do was sweep(ew),do dishes(MY therapy), and clean the bathroom sink. these were all much needed tasks. my issue with the cleaning is that i am the only one NOT wanting to live in a dungeon of death and disease. is that so bad????

i had my usual corn pops this morning. haha, usual. usual as of a couple days ago. and honestly, once this box is dunzo so am i on the corn pop front. too many pops. this cereal kinda scrapes and hurts my mouth...maybe it's because i am so enthusiastic for my pops that i just SHOVE them in. ew, i'm a beast.

nineteen days and i am off to CALI!!! fuuuck, i am excited!! i feel like there is so much shit i need to do before then that i KNOW i am gonna forget something. ahhhh. help me out universe!!

so, the other day at work i met this young dude who is the lighting guy for the JONAS BROTHERS tour. he was really nice and just chillin--we talked about his sweet job touring and only being nineteen...that's amazing! we talked about the tours he's worked for (miley and the jonas bros) and the shennanigans that is disney stars. i told him to 'make me a star, kid! make me a starrrrr'

we got drunk that night. well, i definitely did. thank you miley's corp credit card! paying for my WAYYYYY to many beers. god, i love corona. so we had fun that night, laughing--we giving him girl advice--singing along to the karaoke portion of the night...we smoked a joint and went our separate ways. it was really nice to meet someone new and someone who knows the industry...atleast from the inside. haha. i made a new friend.

last night i made a LOT of money off of one older guy named albert. he was from montreal, huge sweetheart. the first thing he told me was that he couldn't get TOO drunk because he has to canoe early in the morning...portaging and all this stuff...every beer i brought him (lots) i would remind him that he REALLY should be resting up in order to canoe in the morning. 'don't you worry about me darling. i am all good. gimme another'...he kept wanting me to bill him and then 'start from zero'..needless to say, every bill (regardless of the total) he tipped me twenty-five dollars! so the bill was twelve and i got twenty-five. i would fight with him--why am i such an honest human being?--and he would INSIST...so anyway he got pretty loaded and ended up becoming hugely beligerent (sp?) and fought with my managers. DON'T WORRY BLOGGERS, i took care of it. i talked to him calmly and then fed him some food (soak that BOOZE up!!) and then he left. he HATED all the men that were trying to 'protect' me slash make sure he paid me. but i snuck in there and spoke to him en francais. i rock.

i also came to the realization that i really really REALLY enjoy UFC fights. i never thought i liked the fighting and the blood--and maybe it was only the crowd at the bar last night but mannn WHAT AN INTENSE FIGHT!!--i mean, i would never make sure i didn't miss a single fight but if it's on...I WILL WATCH!!

i got more roses in my apartment! they are so pretty. i got 10 last night. geeeez. each rose from the rose lady (we call her rose...clever, huh?) costs 4 dollars. that's alot of money for a fucking rose. regardless i have ten beautiful roses sitting on my desk...yellow roses have become a serious favorite of mine. pink is nice, red is obvious, but yellow..soooo pretty.

every rose colour means something so i decided to look it up and share it with y'all:

*Red roses are the traditional symbol for love and romance, and a time-honored way to say "I love you." The red rose has long symbolized beauty and perfection. A bouquet of red roses is the perfect way to express your deep feelings for someone special.

*As a symbol of grace and elegance, the pink rose is often given as an expression of admiration. Pink roses can also convey appreciation as well as joyfulness. Pink rose bouquets often impart a gentler meaning than their red counterparts.

*The bright, sunny color of yellow roses evokes a feeling of warmth and happiness. The warm feelings associated with the yellow rose are often akin to those shared with a true friend. As such, the yellow rose is an ideal symbol for joy and friendship.

*White roses represent innocence and purity and are traditionally associated with marriages and new beginnings. The white rose is also a symbol of honor and reverence, and white rose arrangements are often used as an expression of remembrance.

*With their blazing energy, orange roses are the embodiment of desire and enthusiasm. Orange roses often symbolize passion and excitement and are an expression of fervent romance. A bouquet of orange roses will send a meaningful message.

*The unique beauty of the lavender rose has captured many hearts and imaginations. With their fantastical appearance, lavender roses are a perfect symbol of enchantment. The lavender rose is also traditionally used to express feelings of love at first sight.

(thanks http://www.proflowers.com/flowerguide/rosemeanings for the meanings!)

so, it is obvious that yellow would be my favorite...sunny! oh and friendship! aw,i'm always the damn friend. haha. i have all colours of the roses right now except white and orange! SO PRETTY.

speaking of pretty--someone told me that i reminded them of amy smart. i've never gotten that before! so nice. i am totally going to revel in it. hahaaa.

peace and love bitchesss!
xoxoxoxoxoxox

yum!

i just got back from my adventure to shoppers--the closest grocery-type store.
one box of corn pops? check.
one carton of milk? check.

one happy camper. CHECK!!


xoxox

stop and stare.

i am officially a work-a-holic this week and next...PRETTY MUCH until i leave for L.A...which BTW is in 22 DAYS!! can you believe it??? i can't. i am so excited...i need so much money before i go--to pay everything (and i mean EVERYTHING off) before i leave....hence the working every chance i get.

it was karaoke last night. i made shitty tips but the time went by because, well, it was KARAOKE riiiight? i always have way WAAAY too much fun singing along. however, i have NO fun when my favorite songs are butchered...oh, and when 'ghetto' girls attempt rap...over and over and over and over again. that's when i wish i carried a gun.

i woke up this morning/afternoon with a weird craving for corn pops. is that normal? i mean, corn pops ARRRRE delicious. i always laugh when i think of corn pops. why you ask--well, i'm telling you--when i worked at loblaws during my high schooling...eri and i were working at the customer service desk and a woman brought back an opened box of corn pops. she wanted to return them because she claimed the 'corn' got caught in her children's teeth. hmmm. the 'corn' 'kernels' got stuck in her kids' teeth. HMMMM. lady, you're an idiot.

we definitely had a laugh over that one...probably to her face too. HAHAHAHAA!!! oh loblaws.

so now i crave corn pops. NOT HAPPENING! hello twenty-two days. woah, when you spell it out like that--it makes it more real! yay!!

k-i am going to retire from this lame ass blog post (sorry about that) and do some facebook lurking and then some dancing alone in my apartment. sweet private dance parties yo!!

peace and loveeeeee

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox